Lately my wife and I have been binging episodes of “House Hunters.”  We first watched the show when we were house hunting ourselves many years ago.  At that time, it was a quaint show that depicted normal-type people on limited budgets seeking an affordable place to call their own, a piece of the American Dream.

It has been quite some time since we last viewed it until last month.  The show has become so formulaic.  Clearly, the producers prefer couples who do not see eye-to-eye on a house.  More conflict equals more viewership.  At the start of each show, we hear an off-screen host repeat the same teaser.  “She wants a single-story traditional ranch house with a formal dining room and a pool.  He wants a two-story new-construction open-concept floor plan with a basement.”

But that predictability makes the show bland and doesn’t represent reality.  I know, I know, “reality” TV is anything but real life.  But there must be a couple out there who are both seeking a craftsman bungalow with just 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom and aren’t grumbling about the size and color of every little detail.

So many house seekers expect to pay low money for a turnkey house that fits their vision of the ultimate house on earth.  These “contestants” look petty, selfish and unappreciative.  So many people would happily accept any house that they could afford; however, these people frequently make comments like “this is a gut job” when looking at brand-new kitchens that have cabinets or countertops that don’t match their pre-conceived notions.

One couple who were independently wealthy chose the most expensive house of the three options (around $2 million) which was newly built and then gutted it (for at least $500,000)—so wasteful. 

I think of how people in other countries look at Americans who have an insatiable appetite for oversized houses.  Do people really need walk-in closets that are larger than small bedrooms?

Most couples seek out a three-bedroom, 3,000 square foot house that is supposed to look like a Mediterranean palace with hardwood floors, granite countertops, double-sink vanities, and high ceilings.

Why do two people need three bedrooms?  One bedroom for themselves, one for an office and a third for a guest room.  Just how often are they expecting company to spend the night?  Whatever happened to putting a futon in the office, or crashing on someone’s couch?

Many people frown down upon a small dining area saying, “But how are we going to have Thanksgiving with all of our families?”  Number one, Thanksgiving is one day out the year.  The other 364 days will just be the two of them.

For couples with children, it is mandatory that every child have their own bedroom.  Have they ever heard about bunk beds?

Completely overlooked is the amount of time to clean a large house not to mention the cost of buying more furniture.

I also don’t get this cockamamie idea of the open-concept floor plan where everyone needs an unobstructed view of everyone else in the dining room, the kitchen and the living room. 

Why not continue that concept and take down the walls between bedrooms?  No one is demanding the wall be taken down between the master bedroom and their en-suite master bath.  Funny how a couple does not want to see their loved one on a toilet in their private boudoir.  (By the way, when did the term “master bedroom” become “primary bedroom”?)

One young newlywed seemed aghast to see an older home with a toilet across from an enclosed shower.  She thought that was unpleasant.  Gee, how many houses has she ever been in?

And what’s with the farmhouse-style thing?  One man upon entering a white house actually shouted, “I love the color!”

And if I hear one more woman say that she wants to whitewash the natural wood beams or change the kitchen cabinets and hardware to farmhouse-style black on white, I’ll smash my remote on the floor. 

The one positive take-away from watching “House Hunters” is how appreciative I am that I own a modest house and that achievement alone is good enough for me.

My five-member family could only afford to rent 1,000 square foot houses with two bedrooms and one bathroom.  Do the math.  My parents had their own bedroom as did my sister.  My brother, nearly 10 years older than I, shared a den with me.  And one bathroom for five people.  Yet we made it work.

There are other people with even larger families and smaller dwellings who somehow make their living conditions functional.  Believe it or not it can be done.